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tenshinoakuma) wrote2007-11-09 08:55 pm
tenshinoakuma) wrote2007-11-09 08:55 pm
[Fic] can't call it hate
VERSION TWO because I lost the first copy when I accidentally hit back AND LOST THE WHOLE THING
They ask him questions, worried, concerned, and it pains him when he replies with the same two words every time, "Nothing happened."
Trian says it again and again, as if it is truth, and maybe it is, because there is a silent 'unusual' that hangs between the words. It depresses him, the way Casimir overpowers him (he likes to think he doesn't make it easy; there are scorch marks on the walls he can't remove) and the way Casimir laughs as he does it. But what depresses him more is how it's become normal for Casimir to fuck him against his will (on the floor, against the wall, pushed into the couch) and for him to extend a hand of friendship after Casimir is done that he doesn't allow the other mage to take.
. . . He knows Casimir won't take the hand anyway, because Casimir would rather take him, but it's this illusion of 'allowing' that keeps him going, even though he's tangled up in Casimir and wishes he wasn't.
Trian doesn't hate Casimir; he tries, he tries, but can't hate him.
Trian says it again and again, as if it is truth, and maybe it is, because there is a silent 'unusual' that hangs between the words. It depresses him, the way Casimir overpowers him (he likes to think he doesn't make it easy; there are scorch marks on the walls he can't remove) and the way Casimir laughs as he does it. But what depresses him more is how it's become normal for Casimir to fuck him against his will (on the floor, against the wall, pushed into the couch) and for him to extend a hand of friendship after Casimir is done that he doesn't allow the other mage to take.
. . . He knows Casimir won't take the hand anyway, because Casimir would rather take him, but it's this illusion of 'allowing' that keeps him going, even though he's tangled up in Casimir and wishes he wasn't.
Trian doesn't hate Casimir; he tries, he tries, but can't hate him.
Trian doesn't love Casimir; he tries, he tries, but can't love him either.
Trian is somewhere in between, and that hurts him more than anything else.
Every time Casimir makes him bleed all over the floorboards, it takes him a little longer to wave away questions the following evening. Every time Casimir marks him, it takes him a little longer to heal and bandage the wounds. Every time Casimir breaks him, it takes him a little longer for him to pick up the pieces and start again.
Trian wonders how long it will be before 'a little longer' becomes 'no longer'.
.
.
.
He doesn't forgive Casimir, because he doesn't forgive, never did.
Trian wonders how long it will be before 'a little longer' becomes 'no longer'.
.
.
.
He doesn't forgive Casimir, because he doesn't forgive, never did.
.......even though that second last line wouldn't make grammatical sense, Trian SHUNS YOUR GRAMMAR because he's a mage and mages have more important things to do than making sense to you incompetent beings who cannot understand the greatness that mages are.
Also, looking back at not!chatlogs, lol Trian, you said it wouldn't happen again. FAIL Trian, FAIL.
And here is some art for you
Also, looking back at not!chatlogs, lol Trian, you said it wouldn't happen again. FAIL Trian, FAIL.
And here is some art for you
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(Anonymous) 2007-11-10 03:07 pm (UTC)(link)Gooo art \o/!
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